News from the Hook

FACETIME- Water man: Rivanna
is Schuyler's mission

Published August 24, 2006 in issue 0534 of the HooK.

By Danielle Unger Danielle@readthehook.com

We drink water, clean with water, and bathe in water-- but Ridge Schuyler is immersed in it. The 45-year-old Nature Conservancy executive has been on a mission to save the water.

He was a key player in the Conservancy's collaboration with the Dave Matthews Band to plant over 900 trees at the forks of the Rivanna River to offset the pollution caused by their tour busses around the country. He led the charge to solve Central Virginia's water shortage with an inter-reservoir pipeline.

The rest of the story...

Hahaha, the pollution caused by the Dave Mathews Band tour busses! Remember when they dumped shit all over that dude fishing under the bridge? Dave Mathews is from Charlottesville. This particular paper really, really, really loves him for being from here. I normally can't stand the Hook because they are so in love with the snoby side of Charlottesville, but they pulled this one off pretty well and published a good article. Well worth the read.

Jeep+Boat+Nerf Football=75MPG

You probably noticed I haven't written anything in a while and you have probably given up on me by now. Some pretty drastic changes have taken place around the Riveryak Compound lately. We lost two members of the congregation, almost three, and gained a brand new one!

First of all, the losses. I am near tears as I write this. There is no more JeepYak. JeepYak was sold and will probably waste away in the dude's driveway as his weekend toy. Wish I could blow that much money on a toy. I made a pretty cool slideshow of JeepYak, but am not able to post it on here. The link to see it is here . If that doesn't work, try this one. In the area that says 'Member Name', type riveryak. Click the little picture at the bottom that says 'Goodbye Jeep'. This is Emmy material.

Next to go was my sailboat. A cool guy came by the house tonight and gave me cash for it. I felt bad because I had the cover off gettting ready to clean when it began raining. The stupid white pine in our yard dumped its worthless needles all over the boat, making a huge mess. But the guy bought it anyways. That, ladies and gentlemen, is why the guy is cool. I'll miss the sailboat, but not nearly as much as JeepYak. If you feel sorry for me, as you should for my losses, use the link on the right called 'buy me a boat' to, well, buy me a boat. Any of them will do, but I prefer to sail.

The near miss. My dog had a cyst the size of a Nerf football inside his abdomen. It couldn't be seen from the outside, so we had no idea how long this thing had been in there. The vet recommended surgery, because it could be a tumor. So, being the good pet owner's we are, we went with it. Doggy ate the money from JeepYak and the sailboat. You think you're getting ahead by selling your prized possessions, and WHAM! Life smacks you right in the burrito. The cyst turned out to be his left kidney. I'm no veterinarian(even though I gave a half ass attempt at it for two semesters), but I doubt they are supposed to be that big. The doc said it was most likely congenital and it may or may not have caused him any harm. But thanks for giving me thousands of dollars to see it! The irony of this story; our cat has the same condition and will most likely need the same operation some day.

Now for the addition. Drum roll...wait for it...wait forrrr ittttt...I bought a Vespa! I went from $75 a month in gas to 75mpg over night. Here's my secret that I will fill you in on for FREE! I sold JeepYak and bought a Vespa LX50. That's 50cc's of pure adrenaline pumping fury that does about 20mph up hill. Sure, there are bigger and faster models, but mine doesn't have to be registered, I don't have to carry insurance, and best of all...no waiting in line at the DMV for a motorcycle license! Anybody over 16 with a valid driver's license (they check) and $3000 can buy one and drive it home from the shop without knowing anything at all about riding motorcycles! Uninsured! What a hell of a deal, huh!?

Without JeepYak around, I don't know how I am going to get my kayak to the river. Last weekend I strapped it to the top of my wife's Honda and took off to Richmond-an hour and a half away at 70 mph. I bought some foam blocks that protect the car from the kayak and also stabilize the hull. They actually worked extremely well, but I am still buying a roofrack this week. Even on the blocks, the kayak actually moves when a truck passes. If you want to see what the air around your car is doing while travelling at 65 behind a truck, strap a kayak to your roof via the foam block method. I stopped at a rest area to check the tie downs and the seat made a sucking 'POP' sound when I got out of it.

Speaking of driving to Richmond with the kayak strapped to the car. I went kayaking on the James River in Richmond with BIL last weekend. Our purpose was to check out the dams that will impede our forward motion in September. Bosher Dam, the largest dam that we were really scared of, turns out to have a thoughtful little portage built around it. Dam #1, checked off the list without any worries.

The next dam is a "Z" dam that zigs rather than zags across the river like a "Z". This dam is rather small and easy to portage. We portaged it in order to reach our final destination for the day, Pony Pasture. BIL was on top of the dam handing my boat down to me; who was below the dam with a Northern Water Snake. AKA, not my best friend. The snake is non-venomous and doesn't care. Nor do I. Several times I told BIL about the snake. BIL knew what I was saying because he acknowledged it, yet he kept feeding the boat down to me. "No dude, he's right where I need to put the boat!" I said frantically trying to stop the boat from blocking my sight of the enormous snake that now had plans to constrict me. The snake caught the current from the dam and let itself get washed away. That was actually really cool. A bit of relief swept over my body until I realized I couldn't see where it was anymore. "Oh my God," I thought to myself. "He is going to lunge out of the water at any moment and kill me." As I took the weight of my kayak from BIL and lowered it into the water, Mr. Snake popped his head out of the water back in another area where my boat needed to go. I waited a little bit and made some noise in the water and finally he went back under. BIL walked right in the exact spot, where only moments before, the snake disappeared under water. "That's where he was!" I warned, but BIL didn't seem to care. Being the wise and snake respecting kayaker I am, I pushed my boat far off to the edge where the snake couldn't possibly be. As I readied my boat and paddle for boarding, the snake slithered on top of the water around the bow of my boat and at me before making a last minute turn into an eddy and under some foliage. It's a good thing he turned, becuase one of us was about to piss himself. I wish I had it on film because it had to be some kind of speed record for boarding a kayak without tipping over.

The rest of the trip was a lazy float down to Pony Pasture. This is the area where we ran out of water and ate the last of the food. We were hot, burned, tired, thirsty and hungry. A great recipe for making kayakers ill tempered. Pony Pasture has a reputation for killer rapids when the water level is high. The day we were there, the water was low and the infamous killer Pony Pasture was full of babies and small children swimming. But, by God, we made it through without so much as a roll! We believe we can make it all the way to our intended take out downstream from Belle Isle on river left. We have been without rain for a long time, but yesterday and today has been making up for that. I haven't checked the river levels, but I'm not very concerned. As dry as it has been, the ground should be soaking up most of the water, not leaving much for runoff. With the dams no longer a threat, the only thing to worry about is flood conditions. The James gets really angry when it floods. With Ernesto on its way to this area, the James River might get really pissed off. That would not be condusive to kayakers carrying five nights worth of camping gear.



















Ernesto's projected route. Courtesy of University of Hawaii. I'm kinda glad they figure it is going directly over our kayak route, because they are ALWAYS wrong when trying to predict a storms path.

Fair winds and Following Seas, JeepYak. I had fun building and driving you. Good luck...

A New Boat!

B-I-L is brother-in-law for now on because I am tired of typing it. He really got lucky on this boat. It is in excellent condition and came from a woman that knows paddling like Bo knows baseball. It has two dry storage compartments and tons of deck space for strapping things onto. This kayak looks like a freighter cutting through the water. As an ex-coastie, I had to check his compartments to make sure he wasn't smuggling any Haitians*. We took turns paddling the thing around and both really enjoyed it. My shorter boat is more responsive, but his longer yak cuts through the water with minimal effort. The only concern we have is the fixed skeg on that 14' beast. We are a little worried about faster water taking over his stern and not allowing him to control the boat very precisely. If that turns out to be the case, we may not paddle through the sections of the James in Richmond around Belle Isle. That is to be determined.

My sister-in-law with B-I-L that is going on the trip with me. Here they are putting together a folding kayak for her. It's a great looking boat and extremely light weight, but us plastic yakers are standing around twiddling our thumbs thinking, "What can I do...hmmmm? I know, I'll snap my paddle together...Ok, that's done." More thumb twiddling...Put on lifejacket...Drink most of water...Take some pictures...Watch them ratchet the longitudinals in place...Talk to other kayakers who are arriving and leaving in the time this thing is being put together...Re-apply sunblock...Play in the dirt with a stick.."Oh, your finished?"





The completed boat is really nice and fairly stable. "Now that you got that thing together, let's go paddle!"






Here's a good picture of our boats drinking from the reservoir. A picture of three or more colorful kayaks always turns out well. They really are graceful and photogenic.


Swampy. In this area I usually see galloping deer and dancing butterflies but we were being much too loud for any wildlife viewing. "Hey B-I-L, how's that boat doin'?" "Not bad," he would answer. I would call back, "You still like it?" His wife asked if he loved it, yet. He replied, "We don't know each other enough to be in love. We're still courting." Hmmm, ooootay.








A quick break on top of the dam. Call me a chicken, but I HATE dams. This really was a quick break. "Hey, where's the other kayak?"








A quick shot down the length of the dam. B-I-L is on the other end taking a stroll.






Downstream of the dam. Rt 29 can be seen in the distance.











Upstream of the dam. Ooohh, pretty. Ok, back in the boat.







The new kayak is going to work well on our trip down the Rivanna to the James River. The cockpit is a little tight, but we figured out ways to adjust the seat and foot pedals to make it more comfortable. We also agreed to switch boats for a while if his feet became too cramped. We now have the boats, gear, and time. All we need are six more charts (in the mail) and some luck in order for the trip to be successful. Wish us luck...

Fair winds and following seas.


*That was purely a joke. Any immigrant, but especially Haitians, deal with extremely horrible conditions to get into our wonderful country. People just don't realize.

Blogs Pot

Something I didn't think about when I ordered the charts directly from the USGS; they are coming from the U.S. Government. After working for that outfit for five years, you'd think I would have learned my lesson about dealing with them if I wanted something done in a timely fashion. Still no freakin charts. The confirmation email said they were shipped on the 3rd. I guess I missed the part about them being sent Pony Express. If you haven't figured this out for yourself, let me enlighten you. The federal government drags their heels on everything they do. Nothing gets rushed, even if it is marked "rush".

The weather looked pretty frightening all day, to say the least. Needless to say, I didn't go kayaking. Again. It's been so long since I've been in the water, my butt has almost quit hurting from the last trip. Instead, I went out today to find some quality paper to print stickers on. There is no such thing. I haven't searched for any paper on the internet, but I think I am going to break down and have a shop print the stickers. Might as well get it done right.

Since I couldn't find any sticker paper that was worth wiping my butt with, I made an impulse buy and got those crappy black letters that never go on straight. You know what I'm talking about...The "customize your cars back window with your name, Oklahoma style," stickers. Yeah, there you go! Those!

I customized my kayak real good today with those stickers. I wrote the riveryak URL on the starboard bow with them. It actually looks ok. An observer on the river bank might not even notice how crappy it is. After I completed the job, I was standing back admiring my handiwork and thinking about how much money I saved by doing it myself and my brother-in-law, make that my wife's smart ass brother-in-law asked, "What is blogs pot?" I may have left a slightly larger gap between the S and P, but it is only slightly and does not say "blogs pot". See for yourself:

Now the secret behind those letters. Remember, you heard it here, first. The first W is actually an upside down M because there were only two Ws in the kit. Assholes. The first O is a 0(zero) because there were only two Os in the kit. I used Elmer's Stix-All to coat over the letter's to give them a waterproof seal (hopefully). The Elmer's should work. It isn't that white stuff you used to eat as a kid. This stuff made me sneeze when I opened it. Clear finger nail polish is supposed to work, but haven't you seen how that stuff flakes off women's fingernails? I was looking for something a little more permanent. Plus, Stix-All says it is dishwasher safe, you know, just in case.

Fair winds and following seas,
I'll let you know when the charts come in.

More Planning and a Logo!

Brother-in-Law is definitely on the Charlottesville to Richmond Kayak trip! We are still in the market for the boat that will carry him on the trip, but we have a few possible candidates and will probably have one picked out by this weekend. The gear is mostly in order. By mostly I mean we have to gather it all in one location. He has most of the stuff we need, but it is strung out all over the state like a freakin scavenger hunt.

After careful study of my Rivanna Trail Guide, I have come to the realization that the Rivanna River is much longer than I anticipated. It looks like it is about 35 miles from Woolen Mills dam to the James River. If my calculations are wrong, someone please correct me! As of now, we are going to paddle to Pettit Island where a public campground is conveniently located. Day two will take us on a 21 mile journey to the James. Depending on how we feel, we will probably make camp at the put-in on the James across from Columbia. My USGS charts have not arrived yet, so I don't have a clue yet as to how long we will be on the mighty Jim. Or where we will camp. I still have a month and a half to figure that kind of stuff out though. Details, smetails.

Since I haven't been doing much kayaking the last few days, I have come up with some nifty ideas for stickers and a logo for riveryak. The first one is a bumper sticker concept with a slogan that I haven't researched too heavily to make sure it's not already in use. Oops! If you've heard this somewhere, let me know. I like to think I am original, but there are millions of like minded people in this world that probably beat me to it. Google searches have turned up nothing so I think I'm pretty safe using it. Is it copyright infringement if I don't make money off it? Hmm...



This is the bumper sticker prototype. The slogan across the top says "Conservation Through Participation". That's the one I'm worried that somebody else is already using, even though, as I said earlier, a Google search didn't bring up anything (that's a legal search, right?). I like it because I believe the best way to practice conservation is to participate in it. Every time I go to the river I pick up trash and I am publishing this blog to try to get the word out that our river needs help. Conservation through participation. That's me.

This is the logo I came up with. As you can see, it is a stick figure wearing a bandana paddling a kayak over the riveryak url. I like these smaller stickers because they can be printed on any type of paper and will look good on any surface, not just a bumper. The colors are easily customized, so it can be a very diverse sticker that hopefully will appease to most kayakers. The paddler can be customized as well, for example, by placing a pony tale on the head. Now you have a girl yaker. I haven't made any like that yet. But I would if anybody ever wanted one. I tried to put a PFD on the figure, but it didn't look right. Always paddle with your PFD on your body, not on the boat! A PFD is useless unless you are properly wearing it. I used to be in the Coast Guard, I know these things.<--That last part was sarcasm.

If you are interested in any of the stickers let me know by responding to this post. For now I am printing them on my computer at home on adhesive printer paper. There is a product out there somewhere that sprays onto stuff like this to water proof them. When I find that stuff, aww man, watch out Cville...Every flat surface I see will be a blank cavas for riveryak stickers!

Fair winds and following seas

Charlottesville to Richmond

This is something I have thought of doing for a while and it finally looks like it is going to happen. I am going to kayak from Charlottesville to Richmond with my brother-in-law. The trip is still in the early stages of planning, but it is basically going to start on the downstream side of the Woolen Mills dam in the Rivanna and end in the James River in Richmond. USGS charts are in the mail on their way to my house for the James leg and I purchased a nice little map of the Rivanna from the Rivanna Conservation Society for five dollars at Blue Ridge Mountain Sports. My job has let me off work for a week in September and my wife, with her undying support of my craziness, will bid me farewell from the banks as the sound of "Kaching" rings in her ears from the life insurance policy.

The only hitch in the whole process is my bro's kayak is not fit for a trip of this caliber. He has a nice, light weight, extremely fast canvass skinned boat that we are afraid will be ripped to shreds before reaching the Jim. We are in the market for a well cared for plastic kayak in the range of 10 feet in length. If you know of anything, please let me know! I really need him on this trip because he has all the gear we need and the experience to get me through it in one piece. For the love of me, find us another boat. I'm dumb enough to attempt this alone...

Departure date has yet to be set, as well as arrival time in Richmond. As planning progresses, I will keep the blog updated. I foresee future blog entries curtailing trial and error runs in the Rivanna until I figure out the best way to pack my luggage. My minds eye also forecasts at least one kayak sinking from being overloaded and several dunkings of yours truly until I get the whole balance-the-load thing down pat. I'm so excited my balls tingle.

Until next time,
Fair winds and following seas.