You Want Quality RiverYak Posts To Read?

My birthday and Christmas are both coming up. I'm getting old as crap, so I figure I need to start seriously documenting my life before its over. I have come up with a solution to make this blog worth reading again while at the same time relieving my aging memory the burden of storing the events of this fleeing life.

A new camera!

With this camera, you will have wonderful things to read and see on the blog and I won't have to worry about forgetting all the awesome things that happen to me everyday. I could just take a picture!

Remember - Birthday and Christmas, right around the corner. Can your conscience assume the shame it will undoubtedly endure if I don't get this?


Here's a big hint on how to get this for me...split the cost among yourselves. I'll love you all, but I will personally make you my best friend since you thought of it. But it's a secret, so don't tell anybody else.



Fair winds and following seas...

All Politics and no Paddling...

One day while I was paddling on the Rivanna River, I looked between my knees in the kayak at the load of garbage I had collected from the water. After a quick glance at the banks I realized my kayak was not big enough for collecting the amount of trash that had accumulated in my beloved river and have any kind of effect on the situation. At that moment I started brainstorming ways to fix this garbage uprise.

While drifting with the current with a soft breeze on my face and the stench of spent 40s in my boat, an idea slowly formed in the hazy area I call my mind. The words "Public Awareness" popped into my head, unexpectedly. So I continued brainstorming on ways to make the public aware of the rivers plight. The first thing that came to my mind was advertisements in the newspaper. Every time I went kayaking I would take pictures of the garbage I had collected during the day. My idea was to post these images in a newspaper ad with a quirky sentence or two to try to make people take an interest in the river. I researched advertising costs and realized this approach was not in my budget.

Mrs. Yak and I had been watching this video blogger called "Ze Frank." His blog was extremely successful and received loads of attention. I thought I could do the same, but little did I know how hard it is to get on the first page of a Google search with just the words, "Charlottesville," "Rivanna River," and "kayak." Ze Frank also has video, which is pretty cool and cuts out misspelled words and typos by about 100% or so.

I don't have the money to waste on advertisements, nor do I have a voice for radio or a face for television, thereby decreasing the odds of a successful video blog by 80%, if my math is correct. So, here I sit at a keyboard on a free blog service I found by accident. Almost like fate or karma, or like, it was meant to be. It was such a spiritual moment for me when I stumbled across blogger.

Next thing I had to do was create a name for the blog. I wanted something catchy, easy to remember, and pertinent to the material. Believe it or not, I made up the word Riveryak. I don't know why I spelled it River Yak when I set up the blog, but the proper spelling is Riveryak, or RiverYak for added spunk. One word. The word itself is an animal I made up one day while paddling and pretending to be on assignment for "National Geographic." I was on the hunt for the elusive riveryak, a species of Yak that is found near, um...rivers.

So I had my mission-write a blog about the ailing Rivanna River and any other paddling trips I take. I had a fitting title-www.Riveryak.blogspot.com, I even wrote it on the side of my kayak in 2" block letters. The blog would be updated weekly, except when I was excited and updated it two or three times a day, or bored with it and didn't update it for half a year. And sometimes I get off topic, such as the last post that I didn't even title.

I was talking to someone at work the other day about the blog. He said he enjoys reading it, but it's not "a life altering event." (People hate talking to me because they know it might get blogged.) I was shocked for a split second and my feelings were badly scorched until I realized I never meant for this to be "life altering." I am not a political journalist, hell I'm not even a journalist. I'm a paddler that gets off topic every once in a while and needs the threat of losing one of the five readers I have. I love kayaking and I'm passionately patriotic, but oil and water don't mix.

This is a paddling blog, with a lot of conservation being preached. I feel that political blogs are fruitless since nobody is going to get along over current issues anyway. I must never allow myself to be distracted and turn attention away from paddling and towards Washington. Although, it will happen again. As a matter of fact, I have an unpublished post about my thoughts and feelings on exploring new places to drill for oil. Whenever I finish checking the facts it will be posted. You've been warned.

I appreciate my uncle's comments on the previous post. And my sister in laws, too. Uncle Pink told me in an email to publish more comments. I would if I got some! Evidently there are a few people that actually read my blog, but I never know it because nobody ever comments! Or they try to blow my cover with too much information.

As Uncle P said in his comment, he is a veteran of the U.S. Air Force. My other uncle was in the Navy (God have mercy on him, he didn't know any better), and I have a brother in law in the Air Force who is deploying soon, again. Uncle Pink was merciful in his comment. I was actually a little nervous to read it. I guess I forgot that we are family and he has tact. By the way, Uncle Pink, I would have published your comment even if you had done as I was expecting and ripped me a new one!



Fair winds and following seas...

A number of things have been going on lately that have had me thinking. The things I think always sound great in my head but sometimes get lost in translation when I speak. I have found that keeping these things inside until I can't take it any longer then blogging it rather than talking to rational, competent and intelligent people about my ideas allows me to keep thinking I am rational, competent and intelligent. It is only after I have spoken the thoughts that I sound like a lunatic. Or get the feeling that I am sounding like a lunatic from the looks on the poor people's faces who are unfortunate enough to be within my comfort zone when I have had enough and need to vent.

Item number one that is bothering me: Have you heard about the cyclone that tore through Myanmar? Surely you have. The last numbers I read were estimating over 20,000 people dead and that number is expected to reach 100,000. 100,000!! I thought 20,000 was bad. I mean, 20,000 people is about the same size as the town I am from. I don't know how many people reside in the county I grew up in, but I bet it is less than 100,000 people.

How bout that government that didn't warn anybody a freakin' killer cyclone was nigh? Now that same government is blocking aid from foreign countries, saying, "Nah, we got this one man. Maybe next time." Think about this...most of the casualties from this cyclone aren't dead yet. The only reason they will die is because their government can't get over their pride and ask for help. That sounds so familiar...

Warning...I'm about to bring up 9/11 and Hurricane Katrina!!...Warning

Do you remember Iraq offering assistance with the recovery efforts of 9/11? Don't feel bad if you don't (actually, yeah, feel bad. You need to pay closer attention), because our own government blew them off like a sparrow in a hurricane then blew them up. I bet you remember "Shock and Awe." Maybe we did have that one covered and rescued as many survivors as possible, but how many of the rescuers were killed when the buildings suddenly collapsed? You know, the collapse nobody saw coming. How many rescuers have died since because of "Ground Zero Syndrome?" It is possible we don't know everything and could have used some intel, at the least, from a country that has experience with suicide bombings.

Hurricane Katrina-the Feds did not arrive for DAYS after the hurricane. The only reason they did come was because the cities that were wiped off the map had no infrastructure left and could not manage the situation. They had to BEG their own government to help. The Coast Guard wasn't even called in until after FEMA evaluated the situation! Isn't this the role of the National Guard and Coast Guard? Did I hear them wrong when they went over this stuff in bootcamp?

In an effort to appear humane, our government is "putting pressure" on Myanmar to allow relief aid to come in and help. This probably shouldn't piss me off. Maybe our gov has learned a lesson from 9/11 and Katrina and has come to the realization that some jobs are too big for one little operation to handle. But then again, I doubt it. How fucking pretentious can a government get? The same government that cried like spoiled brats about helping its own citizens during THE SAME TYPE OF CASUALTY is now trying to stick it to a third world country for acting the same way. Fascist anyone?

I have to stop before I throw a clot and die a terrible death. Keep up with the situation in Myanmar. This should be interesting.




Fair winds and following seas...

A New Bottom for the Kayaks

I was going to title this post "Something Uncle Pink Will Be Interested In" because it features the newest piece of equipment in our livery. Before I could get any pictures of the new Land Rover and make a post on here, Uncle Pink was crowding my inbox with curious inquisitions into our latest purchase. Since he has heard the story already, it's no longer a surprise so a new title had to be cleverly made up on the fly.

See that? "Special Vehicles." Gotta be cool, right?


1997 Land Rover XD, limited edition. Only 250 were built and all were shipped to the U.S. The package includes front brush guard, roof rack, tail light covers, yellow paint scheme with black decals and a Land Rover Special Vehicles badge and sold for $35,000 new (NOT what I paid). I have seen pictures of others with a broader black stripe on the side and a large Land Rover decal under the rear window (as looked at from the angle of this photo). I want those decals but it seems Land Rover stuff is hard to come by. I will let you give me $1000 if you notice what is missing in this photo.



Front view with my upstairs neighbor walking by. I didn't get him to sign a release to allow his photo to be taken, so don't tell him you saw this. Bright fog lights for blinding these assholes in Virginia that don't believe in dimming their headlights. Really they are much worse coming up behind you with their brights on then they are about coming at you. I plan on installing a light on the rear of the truck just for that reason. The little bars that cover the headlights had to come off for inspection. According the dick at Merchants, nothing is allowed to cover the headlights or tail lights. I had to take the tail light covers off, as well. They came from the manufacturer that way, and evidently have never been removed. Louisi-fucking-anna didn't give a shit about them, even. So after 11 years of salt water and road grime, they had to come off. Most of the hardware broke, so I had to use all my military engineering training to rig some shit to get them back on. As you can see, it was a success.


Rear tailgate with detail of the ladder leading to the roof rack. I have climbed the ladder every day since I bought it. I've always wanted a vehicle with a ladder. You may be thinking the ladder is most likely obstructing the drivers view through the back window. Well, it isn't, which is OK because you can't see anything out the back window anyway. Those are the tail light covers that had to come off. I'm still pissed over that. Oh, yeah. They also broke my headlight and told me I did it! I was able to fix it, thank God, because Rover parts are not in any way affordable. See the cool Rhino spare cover. I can't figure out if it was purchased in Louisiana or Florida. I found the original window sticker and it was from a dealer in Florida, but the tire cover says New Orleans. I'm guessing it was probably sent to New Orleans from Florida as a special order. No biggie to me, because since Katrina, it's now cool to be an advocate for New Orleans and it's always been cool to support Rhino's. I'm a real philanthropist for keeping this cover on the vehicle. Don't let it fool you, though. The spare is flat.





Interior. I hope this posts the way I laid it out in the template. You would not believe how hard it was to get those pictures to set up side by side. The interior is in excellent condition. Because of the light I wasn't able to get very many pictures of the inside. There are some cool nets attached to the overhead that serve as great storage for my GPS (thanks mom!), hiking trail maps, DogYaks portable food and water dish, and other assorted odds and ends. You may be able to see in the center console picture that there are separate climate control knobs for the passenger and driver. This is an excellent feature since Mrs. Yak and I rarely agree on a temperature setting. Two vents in the console supply air to DogYak in the back seat, along with power windows so we can easily crack a window when he farts.<--Made you laugh with a fart joke. :) But, this "luxury SUV" with it's separate climate controls and air vents to the rear passengers for 35 grand has no cup holders in the back and those in the front don't fit any cups. Maybe that has something to do with why Americans are fatter than the British. Do they have smaller cups?

I haven't put the kayaks on it yet. I'm not too sure they will fit since the roof has that drop in it behind the front doors. I am probably going to have to buy some cross bars and attach the kayaks to those. We'll see.

Our big trip for this year is Ocracoke again. We were planning a trip to Key West with a night or two camping on the Dry Tortugas. But our computer died and Mrs. Yak needs one for school, so we used our Key West money on a new computer. I think I mentioned that in the last post.

We have rented a house rather than camping this year because Mrs. Yak's sister and her husband, their new baby, and Mrs. Yak's mom are going, also. Hopefully this year we will actually take pictures. More on this later.

In the meantime, enjoy some more pictures of the Land Rover and think of a name for it. RoverYak won't work because I already thought of it and it's too close to JeepYak. Bumble Bee and stuff like that is disqualified, as well. If somebody can think of a good name for it I might send you a RiverYak sticker, if I can find them. I still owe people stickers from the last contest, so don't count on actually getting anything. If I can't find the stickers, I'll be your friend for a day! How does that sound!?

I thought I had more pictures, but I don't and I don't feel like editing what I already wrote.




Fair winds and following seas...

New Computer=More RiverYak

The computer that I bought in Alaska back in 2002 finally died.  Mrs. Yak and I had been planning a trip to Key West, but the funding for it went into an awesome little Macbook that we have fallen in love with.  Good news for all you RiverYaksters out there, though, since a new computer means more updates to the blog!  "Oh my, how exciting!"

Unfortunately, nobody will be reading about an exotic adventure to Key West on this blog.  Not for a while anyway.  We still plan to go, so we have been referring to this hiccup in the plans as a "postponement" rather than a "cancellation."  

The weather should start warming up as soon as February has finished crapping on us.  We haven't had much snow, which means there won't be that rush of water in the river this spring when the snow melts off the mountains.  It has been raining quite a bit but it's been too freaking cold to play in the water.  How can it be this cold and not snowing?  Where is the rain coming from?  Have I been bad and God is reminding me what it's like to live in Juneau as a warning?  

This all boils down to the fact that I can't wait for March and 60 degree days so that I can try out the river now that the dam is gone.  Remember a few posts ago (I'm feeling lazy and don't want to search it out to post a link, go look for it) I mentioned the Woolen Mills dam had finally been breached?  You probably don't, but a dam has been breached and now the river runs like a river and less like a lake.  I've discovered a few areas that will probably be alot of fun with the right amount of water.  I can't wait for March.

I'm cutting this one short.  Keep an eye on here for more activity.  Hopefully I will do a better job of keeping up with this thing.  

Fair winds and following seas...